Gay without god
COMMUNITIES / Atheist Kevin Smith helps people losing their religion
Scott Dagostino / Toronto / Thursday, December 03, 2009
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PIOUS BIAS. "I know a lot of gay people who are religious but feel hated by their church," says atheist organizer Kevin Smith.
(Courtesy of Angela Mehak, CFI)
Kevin Smith can’t remember a time when he believed in god. Describing his boyhood self as “a curious kid, always questioning things,” the 50-year-old commercial photographer dutifully attended Sunday school at his family’s United Church in Etobicoke but was never sold on the idea of god.
 
“I thought the Bible stories were ridiculous. I couldn’t take them seriously. They seemed like extensions of the fairy tales we were being read, only ones that grown-ups believed too.”
 
Smith admits that, as religious indoctrinations go, his experiences in the United Church were fairly mild.
 
“It certainly wasn’t fire and brimstone,” he says, but he tired of its hypocrisy. “I just found it all so fake,” he sighs. “People would be all full of love on Sunday but then pricks on Monday.” 
 
While his own coming-out process was free from dogma, he says, “I know a lot of gay people who are religious but feel hated by their church.”
 
“I just can’t believe the stupidity of it all,” Smith says, though he resists the common label of “the angry atheist.” “I wouldn’t call it angry. It’s more — ” he pauses, “frustrated.” 
 
Dressed in jeans and a sweater, Smith cuts an unassuming figure. His voice is soft but clear, his shaggy haircut and a single, silver circular barbell earring the only nods to any punk sensibility. 
 
Still, he says, “I’d get angry when I’d see religion infringing on people and would complain bitterly to family and friends about it.” 
 
Inspired by the recent wave of pro-atheist books by authors like Richard Dawkins and Christopher Hitchens, Smith realized that instead of sitting on the sidelines, he should do something. 
 
He laughs at how his partner of 20 years is “kind of apathetic about religion but, in our first month of dating, he said, ‘You’re not an atheist, are you?’” 
Despite the awkward moment, they’ve made it work.
 
An ad in The Globe and Mail for the humanist Centre For Inquiry led him to the group’s office on Beverly Street. Now a registered charity, CFI Canada has chapters across the country.
 
Executive director Justin Trottier says Smith seems like the ideal person to run their Living Without Religion support group.
 
“He’s very personable, and we wanted someone very down-to-earth who could make people feel at ease,” says Trottier, who, at 26, is a young ED — intellectual and a bit manic. “Frankly, I don’t have that quality but Kevin does. It’s worked out very well.” 
 
Smith says the meetings are a lively mix of refugees from various faiths. 
“We have some Catholics, right-wing Pentecostals, Muslims, children of ministers. One woman was half an hour late because she stood outside, too scared to come into a roomful of non-believers. I guess she’d been told we were Satanists or baby-eaters or something!” he laughs. 
 
“There are some really interesting stories here. One of our members is a staunch atheist but her fiancé is a staunch Muslim. They seem to be working it out — they tease each other.” 
 
Despite his views, Smith says, he’s come to terms with one religious leader.
“I really admire Brent Hawkes. He’s an icon and he’s done a lot of great work for the gay community and the people who need that belief. I do question how many of them are true believers though.” 
 
Smith says that many of Hawke’s MCC attendees do not go for the religious teachings but for the sense of community, something that CFI strives to provide as well. 
 
“We’re not trying to convert anyone. You can be religious, deist, agnostic, whatever, and still attend our meetings. We’re just creating a space to discuss these things.” 
 
Now, with his volunteer work and photography career, he’s pretty busy. But he was able to find the time to build a log cabin next to a river up north. 
“It’s sort of like my church,” he says. “A sanctuary to get away to and chill out and meditate. I look at the stars. They’re incredible up north, but I don’t attribute them to god. The universe is amazing enough as it is, and when I sit amongst the trees by the river, I feel connected to everything. We are all connected, aren’t we?”
 
The Centre For Inquiry’s Living Without Religion group is listed on torontomeetup.com.
 
 
 
 


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Reader Comments


 
Go Kevin!
A friend forwarded this article to me, & I enjoyed reading it. I live here in the Bible Belt of the U.S. I feel SO connected to what Kevin Smith has experienced. I was raised as a radical rightist fundamentalist, and so the "dawning" of my atheism was a difficult transition. Now, it's shocking to me how people still believe in non-visible beings. It all seems like superstitious voodoo to me now. I'm also baffled by how religious my glbt friends are. Luckily, non-theists like me are VERY welcome at my local Unitarian Universalist church. We even have a very active non-theist support group there. Keep up the good work, Kevin. The world has very REAL problems to deal with. Delusional beliefs are NOT helpful.
Jay Kilby, Lynchburg Virginia
12/04/09 8:27 AM EST
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Centre for Inquiry worth checking out
The Centre for Inquiry has several humanist/secular programmes worth knowing about; for anyone struggling with addiction, they have a god-fee support programme called SOS which runs Tuesday nights last I checked. They recently hosted Richard Dawkins and bring many bright minds to town. They are worth knowing about in case you ever need a god-free service or sympathetic ear who won't offer religiously-based advice. And I think we've all heard enough of that.
Alex MacLean, Toronto ON
12/05/09 11:33 PM EST
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SOS is still on!
Hi everyone, Secular Organization for Sobriety (SOS) is going strong for well over two years at the Centre for Inquiry Ontario, 216 Beverley St. from 7:30-9pm on Tuesday. Free, non-judgmental, and open to all with addiction problems.
Charles S., Toronto ON
12/10/09 5:32 PM EST
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Great news, Charles
Thanks for verifying that, Charles. For anyone not familiar with downtown, that's very near Queen's Park subway station, or just north of the AGO (just south of College). Plus, the building is closed to others during these meetings so discretion is assured. I'm looking forward to getting to one soon how that school's out. Hope to see some of you there.
Alex MacLean, Toronto ON
12/11/09 12:21 PM EST
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Born Again Christian then now an atheist
My nominal anglican parents sent me to Manor Rd. United. At age 14 I started going to my seven years senior born again sister's Eglinton baptist tabernacle. One Sunday intimidated I stood up with those who were "saved" They said I was too. I stayed for two years because the young man in charge of male teens was so handsome. Disgusted with the incredible hipocracy I became an agnostic and went a number of times to the 1st Unitarian church at Avenue Rd. and St. Clair. In 1948 in my first year at U. of T. (U.C.) I took a one hour a week pass course "Oriental Literature" which was really about oriental religions. One Japanese cult was such a close parallel to christianity that I became a life long atheist. Now an octogenarian and a stamp club member with four other old men, four are atheists and one attends our very liberal United Church which last year had a welcoming service for gays and lesbians.I have a new younger and platonic friend , raised a catholic in a Nefie outport now likes to do bible readings in an Anglican church in Vancouver with a gay priest. I don't discuss religion with David as it might end our friendship,though platonic he is a gay hunk who makes me laugh a lot.. Several years ago Manor Rd. United had a lesnian assistant minister. J.H.
Jack Hallam, Salt Spring Island B.C.
01/09/10 1:34 AM EST
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Morals Without Myth
There is a growing movement of people who desire community and moral teaching structure, but who do not believe in gods and demons. The most noticeable are secular Jews, who have a Jewish heart, but not a soul -- most are atheists. There are also Muslims who do not practice the religious aspects or political insanity. They adhere to the civil and moral, and do not believe in life after death. Now there are groups forming of young families seeking a moral structure without all the nonsense (and there's LOTS of nonsense) in the Bible. Kindness and service, without gathering foreskins for a dowry. Conscience and respect without drinking blood.
SteveDenver, Denver Colorado
01/26/10 6:47 AM EST
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Political Correctness!
I think that the paradigm of todays externally focused and ruthless political correctness is a fragile trend ideology based upon religious excess. Definitely different than the introspective motives of reason, science, and reality for humanitarian ethics, civil rights accumen, and social equality. Someone please email me and tell me an address for the Centre for Inquirey, and meeting times. It would be nice to talk with some sane people for a change.
Al White, Toronto Ontario
02/14/10 9:12 PM EST
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URL for Centre for Inquiry
In Google We Trust: http://www.cficanada.ca/ontario/ Contact information and meeting list is there on the site.
Alex MacLean, Toronto ON
02/15/10 10:14 AM EST
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