As the snow retreats, leaving its slobbery trail of road salt and cigarette butts, the neighbourhood creaks back to life. There’s nothing like spring in Centretown. In honour of the Village crew, I present a meme for our neck of the woods.

Ahem. You might live in Centretown if…

Your ideal living space has hardwood flooring, a bay window, a pass-through, a deck, a turret, stained glass, a clawfoot tub, a community garden and a cutesy mailbox.

Your bathroom floor is made of tiny black and white mosaic tiles.

Your idea of a neighbourhood improvement plan would be the addition of a hardware store in Centretown. Sometimes you wish they’d tear down Somerset House (at Bank and Somerset) and put in an LCBO.

The yellow Bridgehead cup is more familiar to you than the red and brown Tim Hortons one.

You know where all the evening patios are between the Canal and Bronson. And you know the patios north of Laurier don’t count, since by dinnertime everything’s already closed. Your default Sunday brunch place is the Manx.

You think a big trip is to Walmart or Canadian Tire. You never go to Home Depot, because how would you get anything home? CostCo is a place you never visit, but you know that the one in Quebec sells booze.

Until you got one yourself, you thought it was cruel to keep a dog in Centretown.

You give bad driving directions because you completely forget about one-way streets.

You have owned at least one pair of Converse sneakers. You have never owned Crocs.

You’ve heard of Ben Franklin Place, but couldn’t point it out on a map.

Your bike has a name.

You’re not fazed by the appearance of the drug paraphernalia van in your neighbourhood.

You wake up every morning to Kathleen Petty. Your favourite Centretown resident is Alan Neale.

You voted for Alex Munter in the last municipal election. You’ve thought about voting for the Green Party.

You go to the grocery story at least three times a week.

You think it’s déclassé to ogle joggers, but you do it anyway. You have a membership to either Goodlife Fitness on Queen St or the YMCA, but that doesn’t mean you actually work out.

You can construct a thoughtful argument about Ottawa's best shawarma shop (and it's in Centretown.)