Oh no! Those damn Hollywood liberals are back, bugging everyone to vote (You're not my dad, Harrison Ford!!!). Aww but wait -- there's Borat!  And Neil Patrick Harris, being extra-adorable! Okay fine, I'll watch it -- just please stop Jason Segal yelling at me:

So sure, I love a good left-wing, pro-environment public service announcement as much as the next organic food store shopper but someone seriously needs to take Greenpeace aside and say, "What the fuck were you thinking?" Their new ad, with its just-in-time-for-Halloween zombie JFK, is beyond creepy:

But, in the interest of fairness, it's important to note that there are Republican celebrities too (at least I think they're celebrities). They've joined forces against Minnesota candidate and former "Saturday Night Live" writer Al Franken, creator of nelly advice guru Stuart Smalley. Franken's good enough, he's smart enough, but doggone it, they really don't like him:

And while anything can happen with the US election next Tuesday, I have to admit to feeling a little sorry for John McCain: he got shafted today, not just in this drop-the-hammer ad from Barack Obama but by his own running mate Sarah Palin! It's like they say in Alaska: "Never trust a pitbull in lipstick with your moose from Neiman Marcus." Or something like that.

But since we're talking politics just before Halloween, check out this ad for anti-gay-marriage rally in San Diego -- I find the voiceover hilarious even as the content chills me down to my bones:

Fortunately, the LA Times has an excellent point/counterpoint on the whole ugly debate and, whatever happens in California on Tuesday, blogger Brian Frank gives us "Five Reasons Why the Opponents of Gay Marriage Will Ultimately Fail."

Suitably reassured, I can turn to more fictional Halloween terrors. I'm thinking of digging up an old favourite: "A Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy's Revenge" is the Gayest. Movie. Ever. (Yes, I'm including "Showgirls") Here's just one example:

The stock market took a big hit yesterday after the US Congress failed to pass the controversial Wall Street bailout. Democrats largely went along with Bush's plan but Republicans surprisingly shot it down in flames and then not so surprisingly blamed it on the Democrats. Openly gay congressman Barney Frank responded amusingly but right-wing pundits are saying it was his fault, him and all the gays. They're suggesting a link between banks' failures and their diversity policies and insisting that the whole financial mess can only be fixed by ending gay marriage: "The nation will right itself if it fixes sex." Now I'm confused: America should focus less on its financial problems and obsess more on gays? Isn't that what they've been doing for eight years?

A 19-year-old in Florida on trial for murder insists that being the subject of gay rumours forced him to kill. Please. If that were the case, John Baird would be a mass-murderer by now.

Heather Locklear was arrested for "erratic driving while on prescription pills." Oh Heather, you don't need this -- after starring in "Dynasty" and "Melrose Place," you're already a gay icon!

I know, I know -- still more Sarah Palin! But dammit, she's funnier than ever! Once you're done playing with The Sarah Palin Interview Generator, check out her latest interview: after embarrassing herself on the Pakistan issue, Daddy had to come in and help. The results are hilarious:

We often have to hear the lame complaint that the visibility of gay marriage will be "confusing" to children (ie. make them gay) so, by that logic, this week's nuclear-fusion wedding between Ryan Reynolds and Scarlett Johansson will end homosexuality forever!

And finally, a little something for the pervs out there. Have you been yearning to watch hardcore porn at work? Well, the fine folks at Diesel have come to your rescue with their "Safe For Work XXX" video: