As the same-sex marriage debate heats up in Washington DC, New York blogger Joe Jervis posted some hilariously awful footage of one particular Bible-thumping loon and said:

"Yes, she is horrible, but I don't know when I've laughed so hard. Somebody please remix this lady."

Well, I'm no DJ, Joe, but -- with huge, huge apologies to the Pet Shop Boys -- here's mine (turn on the annotations for the amazing Gallery Guy):

In other music news, out American Idol Adam Lambert just revealed the cover art for his forthcoming CD:

 

He's certainly getting a reaction. The Queerty blog yelled, "We love you Adam, but no. NO. NO!"  Entertainment Weekly said, "it’s a little more, um, out there than the pensive-yet-ultimately-benign images we’ve come to expect from Idol runners-up."

Many others have pointed out the obvious glam links to early David Bowie and/or Michael Jackson but let's face it -- your average Wal-Mart shopper is going to see only this:

But hey, it's no more outré than the great gay T-shirts American Apparel is now selling.  Lambert deserves a big pat on the back for putting himself out there like that -- hopefully his sales won't be as disastrous as the movie that will carry his theme song:

 

My beloved Pet Shop Boys kicked off their North American tour in Montreal on Saturday, then popped over to Toronto's Virgin Fest to perform a few classics:

But every mention of them this weekend expressed surprise that they're still around at all, which is pretty rich considering all the same-day praise showered on aging emo-kid Trent Reznor, the recent hype around Madonna's third greatest hits CD or, God help us, the new single from the Backstreet Boys.

Why pick on the Pet Shop Boys when there's a whole bunch of people who have seriously outstayed their welcome, people like...

-- Mischa Barton: the why-is-she-famous 'OC' actress says it was the pain from her wisdom teeth that drove her into rehab.  That's even less plausible than her lesbian plotline.

-- Dick Cheney: while getting a blowjob from FOX News' Chris Wallace yesterday, the Dark Lord of the Sith said he's "offended" by the idea of investigating him for war crimes. The actual war crimes, however, he's just fine with.

-- Mark Steyn: the why-can't-you-white-people-breed-faster-than-the-Arabs columnist is hopping mad that he can't sell his precious, precious sperm and he's blaming it on the transgendered. Or First Nations people.  I can't really tell so I'll just go with the Dutch.

-- did you know that Saturday was a new holiday -- Sarah Palin Day?  To celebrate, Glenn Beck went completely batshit crazy.

But these dreadful people are just the symptom -- so you know who really needs to just go away already?  God.

You see, God, if you're listening (and the nuns told me you are), it's not that we're not grateful for everything you've created but just look at the people you inspire. Thanks to you, we've got the madness of Stephen Harper (yikes, that sounds familiar!), the egos of some seriously deluded football players, the Louisiana pastor who robbed Hurricane Katrina victims, and the new singing career of Heidi (Mischa Barton says, "Who?") Montag:

So handsome, so bitchy -- Anderson always makes me feel better.  But so does this lovely story from Portland, Oregon -- where United Methodist Church Rev. David Weekley revealed to his parish yesterday that he was born female.  Weekley told his congregation about his 1974 sex-change operation (to massive applause and support) and says, "God got me through." 

Oh all right, God, if the Reverend likes you, I'll let you hang around with the Pet Shop Boys.  You did, after all, shine your sun on Ottawa Pride this weekend but seriously, can't you do something about your fan club?  Or is that why you gave us Lily Allen? Mysterious ways, indeed...

Late post today -- I've been fighting other deadlines and now the long weekend begins(!!!) so here's some random silliness I hope you enjoy as much as I did:

Talk about 'American Idol' all you want but I'm all about 'Britain's Got Talent.'  Who else has the Dreambears?

But DON'T talk about Wednesday's 'Lost' season finale -- I haven't been able to watch it yet!  What I did watch was star Matthew Fox get into a fight with Ben Affleck's ex, Jimmy Kimmel:

This week's craziest news item?  I'm gonna go with Peru deciding that its police force is immoral and therefore trying to improve its image by banning adulters, protesters, unionists and gays. Yeah, good luck with that.

Speaking of "Onward, Christian soldiers," that's the song sung when a "mostly straight" People magazine Sexiest Man Alive 2003 visited the bondage den!  I deplore such gossip but I'm still going to guess Seann William Scott, just because I like the idea...

Aside from that, what better way to kick off the weekend than the new Pet Shop Boys video? Neil and Chris are lionized in the new Out magazine and here they are, evidently costarring with Elton John's sunglasses:

Still in Margate.  Not my first choice to spend a day but the plan is to decompress a little before the Chunnel to Paris this weekend.  In the meantime, there's been some happy developments across the pond:

The insane Fred Phelps clan went to picket the University of Chicago and didn't quite get the reaction they expected:

I knew there was a reason I love frat boys!  Incidents like this, explains Christian writer Michael Spencer, is why he sees the Evangelical movement collapsing within the next decade.  One can only hope!  I really enjoyed this insightful comment from the Beliefnet blog:

"I'm utterly dismayed by the number of people who have adopted the label "Christian" for its tribal association, and not for any spiritual succor beyond belonging to a power structure."

And the scales shall fall from their eyes!  Speaking of eyes, here's the UK magazine I will definitely be searching for at the WH Smith in the rail station:

Gethin Jones AND the Pet Shop Boys?  Somebody in England loves me!  Let's hope the French feel the same way...

Today, we've got what it says on the tin...

Thanks to the internet, I'd thought I'd encountered every possible fetish by this point but no -- here comes Dinosaurs Fucking Robots!  I was this close to coining the term 'bi-ceratops' but knew someone would slap me.

Xtra's man in Parliament Dale Smith is spending today covering the people who are covering the people who are covering Barack Obama's first presidential visit.  Smith's not impressed, even if Obama "comes in riding on a unicorn with trumpeting angels heralding his arrival."  If only -- it'd be better than the treatment Obama got from the foul, anti-gay editorial cartoonist Sean Delonas, who proves once again that the pen is douchier than the sword! 

Sure, you're asking, "What the hell is with the horse peeing rainbows?" but the bigger question is, can you make through all 1:21 of its "song?"

Who knew Canada had its own X-Files? I can sleep at night knowing that someone is out there, trying to catch the Wendigo.  And I still maintain that the Chinook is caused by aliens.

Speaking of aliens, while we wait for the new season of 'Torchwood' later this year, the UK TV site has an adorable online comic that proves Captain Jack will flirt in any medium:

Of course, since aliens don't exist, homosexuals are our greatest threat, says Utah state senator Chris Buttars. Gay people, he insists, are "the meanest buggers I have ever seen...just like the Muslims." As always, the facts prove him completely wrong but who needs facts when you're a senator?

Now I'd love to see Buttars locked in a UFC cage with Margaret Atwood, who has refused to attend a Dubai literary festival because the organizers banned a book that contained a gay character. Go, Peggy!

I was going to go out on a limb and say that this was the weirdest video I have ever seen but that was even before CBC hosts Steven and Chris showed up:

But finally, some good music -- as I mentioned on Tuesday, the Pet Shop Boys received their "Outstanding Contribution to Music" honour at the Brit Awards last night and had Lady Gaga and Brandon Flowers join them for a very weird, very wonderful medley of their two decades of hits:

And yes, I promise I won't mention them again until at least, say, March 24th...