Sorry to end all the Obama-era warm fuzzies but I need your help in deciding which of the following awkward video clips is the most cringe-inducing:

1) A press conference from the Clintonesque Sam Adams, who fought off allegations of having sex with his 18-year-old intern to become the mayor of Portland and then, umm, admitted to having sex with his 18-year-old intern:

(Adams was of course wrong to lie but you gotta admit, the boy is hot)

2) A "poetic justice" moment for George W. Bush made even more awkward:

3) The older gentleman who really, really doesn't want you to hug him:

4) The FOX News relationship expert who knows WAY too much about the Obamas' marriage:

5) The "Batman's Gay Roommate" LEGO cartoon (Seriously? Oy.)

 

Y'know, having spent more than eight years wailing about the sick devotion to George W. Bush still shown by a remarkable 25% of the American public, I would obviously feel more than a little hypocritical about treating Barack Obama like our new saviour.

But I don't care!

I'm watching the inauguration on TV today, wearing Chris Bishop's hilarious T-shirt and basking in the thrill of watching history in the making. Honestly, I never believed we'd see a black president in my lifetime -- even Eddie Murphy said so in 1983:

Would John McCain have had a website this fun?  I don't think so!  So I'll be cheering Obama on today as he's sworn in as the 44th President of the United States, even while I tweak his image to pay tribute to my real hero. Seriously, my dog has done more for me than any politician ever!

I waited nine long, arduous years for this moment but George W. Bush held his last White House press conference today and this disastrous president went out the way he came in -- feeble and awkward:

And please let the door hit your ass on the way out. 

As American conservatism now grabbles with how to revive itself, like some home-schooled zombie, its scavengers are left with the only thing they still feel sure of:  good old-fashioned homophobic hatred!  The man who wants to lead the Republican National Committee is insisting that "homosexuality is a compulsion that can be contained, repressed or changed" while a recent transgender anti-discrimination bill in Gainsville, Florida spawned this useless but ridiculously fearmongering TV ad:

And in a surreal finale, we have the sad and desperate vision of the US right-wing's folksy "aw, shucks" face, Mike Huckabee, arguing with its severe, angular face, Ann Coulter, over how "pro-sodomy" Huckabee is:

"Scout's honour!"  I love it.  Moving on, lest we contemplate the barren wasteland that must be Mike Huckabee's bedroom, we happily look ahead to a new era for America. Now I'm not convinced Barack Obama is "pro-sodomy" but his press secretary gave a solid "yes" to the question of ending the ban on gays in the military. Fortunately, there has never been a ban on military in the gays.

Also exciting is the news that Obama has asked openly gay Episcopal bishop Gene Robinson to deliver the invocation at the opening party before his inauguration. This provides some balance after the furor over Rick Warren's spot at the actual inauguration. Skeptics think Obama picked Robinson as damage control but the bishop says he was actually asked long before. Why'd he wait so long? Please, he's gay -- he was just waiting until Beyoncé signed on before he'd commit!

Yes, America's "pro-sodomy" era is here! Remember that soap-opera clip I posted yesterday? Turns out it was only the first half: while gay teen characters Luke and Noah made headlines by making out in August 2007, yesterday they finally(!) had quaint, 1950s off-screen sex.  Hooray for teenage gay sodomy on American housewives' afternoon television!  Here's to the future:

 

Okay -- first, let's get all of the horrible news out of the way:

Pennsylvania resident Heath Campbell is very angry at a supermarket bakery for refusing to put his son's name on a birthday cake. Seems little Adolph Hitler Campbell will be so disappointed!

At least he won't be alone: a recently released FBI report (PDF) reveals the American military contains more neo-Nazis than ever.  Once (if?) the Iraq War ends, they'll be home and looking for things to do with all that free time!

At least the Iraq war was worth it, right? And if not, Bush says, "So what?"

Meanwhile, shoe-throwing Iraqi journalist Muntader al-Zaidi is facing 15 years in prison. Too bad they weren't stilettos!

From out of British Columbia comes the week's most confusing headline: "Gay teenagers at higher risk of pregnancy." That and the recent suicide study have me seriously wondering what's going on out west.

And, worst of all, comes word that, due to the faltering economy, CTV is retiring "Canadian Idol" for a year. This is horrible news!  Where else are we going to find the next Whatshisname?

But no matter how many strange or horrible things we face, Christmas is a time of hope, as drag legend RuPaul pulled double-duty to show us on her holiday card from the White House:

And another big gay hero celebrated the holiday in style as Melissa Etheridge joined the "View" ladies to sing a Christmas song and lay the smackdown on Elizabeth Hasselbeck:

And for all the Mormons vs. Gays talk on this site since last month's Prop 8 debacle, I'm proud of "Wicked" composer Stephen Schwartz's decision to turn the other cheek and allow Mormon singing groups to keep using his songs. Too bad they're not listening to the lyrics they're singing.

But a lovely example of what can happen when gays and Mormons work together is the new Christmas charity single "Joseph, Better You Than Me," from The Killers. Frontman Brandon Flowers (still the best name ever!) is a straight Mormon boy who loves his gay idols Elton John and Pet Shop Boy Neil Tennant so much, he got them to duet on this odd-but-lovely song.

This collaboration is by no means the only Christmas song they've done. "Joseph" is actually the third one from the Killers this year:

The Pet Shop Boys performed a holiday number for Elton John's TV special:

And finally, of course, the Rocket Man sang this classic waaaay back in 1973:

 

That's what Iraqi journalist Muntazir al-Zaidi is yelling as he attacks George W. Bush in the video I can't seem to stop playing over and over: