WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?
WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE!? My mother asks me that question a lot, she thinks I think I am the queen of sheeba. Whoever that bitch is.

Ok. Before we start, let's do some Madlibs.
If a girl I used to date stops me on the street to tip her hat to me, I would: choke her with her stupid hat.
If a crazy person on the metro waves at me that means: is it christmas?
Roses are red, violets are blue: poetry is so pedestrian.

So, what's your favourite docu?
I like the one about the sociopath child who sticks people with pins. Also, a docu about a sexual surrogate from the 80's. I also like any docu's about meth face. ooh and sexual exploitation, those are the soothingest.

Fav website?
Fave website is the !wizzard! one, you kno.

Fav music to listen to in bath while happy on Robaxaxets?
I like to listen to cat power in robaxalax. and jen grant and carina round and miss harvey and laura viers and lovers and yamagata and maria taylor.

Fav food to eat at that diner in front of Papineau Metro? (Lafayettes's)
GREAZY SOUP!

Half-full or half-empty?
All empty, all the time.

Which slut is your favrit?
JILL ZARIN FOR LIFE. Also the creepy one from Jersey who has the hairless cat.

Who does Jill ZARIN remind you of?
lina harper

 

Where'd you learn how to curse like that?
Some people are just born gifted, you can't learn this magic. Nature over nurture, etc.

Where do you see yourself in 5 years from now?
I try not to think about it. STOP YOU JUST GAVE ME ANXIETY.

That means barefoot and pregnant right?
Babies is unatural.

I noticed your CV says you went to the Simone de Beauvoir Institute. Tell me about that.
Couches, trannies, bad porn, and purple things. sighhhhhh. simpler times.

Are you a feminist?
I hate everyone equal. I no discriminate. 

What's yur number 1 dating pet peeve?
Dating.

What's yur pet peeve of ALL-TIME? 
PEOPLE.

When can we next hang out? (What are you doing next friday? Wanna grab a superburger-hold-the-salad at the greazy diner?)
I'm going to be in 'merica.

Well, thanks for being part of our show, and swinging by the set today. Roo Richer everyone! (applause)
APPLAUSE. FLASHING LIGHTS. I'M READY FOR MY CLOSE UP.

Do you have any parting words?
Yes. Simon says shut the fuck up.